A funeral home in South Carolina is offering what it calls the Starbucks experience. Robinson Funeral Coffee shop will also be open to those not needing services from the funeral home. I can just see the slogan now “Coffee so strong it could almost wake the dead.”
Lawrence Edmonds Vows To Lick Every Cathedral In United Kingdom Before December to get himself in to the genuineness book of records as the worlds saddest man.
The Bad Date Rescue app, was launched by eHarmony this week, it lets users arrange a call to appear on their iPhone to allow them to get out of a date. It’s said to better then their last app witch just text the person you’re on the date with “Go Away.”
The woman known as “Octomom” is facing a lawsuit after backing out of a deal to strip at a Florida club. The club owner was said to be shocked over the “octomoms” use of the pull out method.
A Chinese city is on the alert for piranhas after two people were attacked in a river, and is offering a 1,000 yuan reward for every fish caught, dead or alive. Apparently the fish where last seen by the old nuclear plant, walking on two legs and wearing cowboy hats.
Monolog Jokes 07-06-12
A Phoenix mother has been arrested after authorities say she put beer in her 2-year-old son’s sippy cup. Grand mothers every where responded whats the big deal? That’s how we got you kids to stop fussing.
Residents are debating the wisdom of a Pittsburgh suburb’s decision to launch its July 4th fireworks display from a cemetery.Some folks in Mount Lebanon are calling the decision disrespectful, while others understood the dead people would never know.
A man has been ordered to pay more than $32,000 in back child support after being lured back to Pennsylvania with the promise of a bogus role in a Jennifer Aniston movie. Apparent the part was for Dead Beat #1
A central Pennsylvania man is jailed on charges that he walked into an unlocked mobile home and beat up the resident before stealing the man’s wooden alligator. Proving one thing your life’s not as bad as you thought.
Brad Pitt’s Mother Jane Writes Anti-Gay Marriage, Pro-Romney Letter To Missouri Newspaper. When Pitt was asked about the letter he responded “fuck”
Monolog Jokes 07-03-12
A Road Island man wins Lotto for $180K a day after his son won $1,000. Road Island Papers dubbed them luckiest family in Road Island. Witch by default makes Road Island’s other family the Nederman’s the unluckiest. Sorry Guy.
A cash-strapped PA high school is auctioning itself off on eBay for $600,000 to try and close budget gaps and prevent the school from shutting down. The students have actual started fundraising with their own kick starter in hopes to raise enough money to buy the school and make sure it becomes the worlds coolest skate park.
A man in Detroit has pitched the city a live-action game “Z World Detroit” where players would try to stay ahead of a growing zombie horde. A spokeswoman for Detroit’s mayor office said why would starts a second game this grand theft auto is already a hit.
Alec Baldwin tied the knot this week and It was a star studded event, “30 Rock” co-star Tina Fey was in attendees, as well as super start director Woody Allen and the lesser know Baldwin’s.
Herman Cain is launching a TV network, and based on the trailer, it seems like he is trying to give Tim and Eric a run for their money.
Monolog Jokes 06-29-12
A New Mexico woman was recently arrested after failing to returning a book to the library for 2 year. When the head librarian was asked if she felt the punishment was a bit harsh she responded “Sssshhhhhh!”
In another blow to Research in Motion, the company that makes the BlackBerry, its latest phone launch is being delayed until 2013. Witch to be honestest I’m not really shock to here that BlackBerry has frozen.
A man has been arrested after placing 10 calls to 911 to complain about his service at a Chili’s restaurant in Cincinnati, Ohio. My question is how bad could the the serves had been if you manged to get enough margaritas to think that was a ok idea.
In southern Minnesota a business named Drive-a-Tank offers drivers the chance to pilot a tanks and smash junk cars like monster trucks. Proving once and for all Minnesotans are the red necks of the north.
Michigan is hoping to keep drunks off the road with the help from talking urinal cakes with recorded message that will play reminding men who step up to the urinals to call a cab. The state hope to have them out by early fall they are just waiting for the dalivery from Spencer Gifts . They also need to rerecord over the old message witch apparently is just whistle sounds and car horns.
